I hear all the time, people complaining how they “Should” be able to do something. “I should be able to have a career and have a family and have a social life, etc.”They want it all, not knowing how much time, effort and work go into having “it all”. They see other people, people they know, co-workers, outright strangers living their lives and wonder “Why can’t I be like them? I should be able to.” Of course they only see a snapshot of that person’s life. And maybe in that snap shot, everything looks ideal.
You’re at Starbucks and you see a mother and her 3 angelic kids. They’re saying please and thank you, behaving properly. And you think to yourself. “Why can’t my kids behave like that? I should have kids who behave too.” You have seen a sliver, an unbelievable tiny fraction of this person’s life. And like a lot of snapshots, it looks pretty good. But you have no idea what that person’s life is like. Maybe she was screaming and yelling, threatening the kids in the car before they went into the coffee shop. It could be sheer coincidence that the children are behaving in that moment, because the rest of the time they’re bloody monsters! My point is, you don’t know. You can only go by what you see in that moment. And you compare that moment to your entire life. Is that fair?
You “should” be able to do what you “can” do. Pretty simplistic statement, but true nonetheless. If you can’t be at every soccer game, every dance recital, every school play, then you can’t. That’s the truth. If you can’t make it, then you shouldn’t make it. People get caught up in the ideal life and let’s face it…the ideal life doesn’t exist. People think they deserve it all…and maybe you do. I doubt it, but hey that’s your problem not mine. I try to get as much out of life as I can, but I know I can’t get it all. If you want more time with your family, you need to make that time up somewhere. So you take it from work. Or your social calendar. You want more social time, sorry Family, can’t spend as much time as I used to. Work needs me, not so much social time.
You need to make compromises. Don’t fall into the trap of “wanting it all”. You’ll always be disappointed. Try for some at first. Then, down the road, try for more. And then when you really have all cylinders firing, try for as much as you can get. But “all”… all is perfection and that can never be obtained. And besides, perfect is boring. Imperfection can be so much more fun!
I probably “should” have written a better post (other bloggers write so much better, so much more often)…but this is as good as I “can” do today.
