Seems the baby boomers, for all their self-professed wisdom, have screwed up their children. I’m sure you see it all the time, young kids, cocksure and full of self-esteem proclaiming themselves more evolved than us mere mortals who have already lived longer than they have. Just when you thought your nephew was a smug bastard, looks like his entire generation may be and it won’t end well. Someone needs to step in and teach this new generation the benefits of some negative thinking. From The Telegraph:
The young people of today are more sure of themselves and the fact they will make excellent parents, partners and employees than their parents ever were.
But researchers, who studied the self-assessments of the Millenials, or Generation Y, warn that instilling children with such confidence could be simply setting them up for a fall.
They warn that many young people could sink into depression when they are confronted with life’s harsher realities.
Professor Jean Twenge, head of psychology at San Diego University, and lead author of a report about young people’s self-confidence and views about the future, said: “Boomer parents are more likely than any group of parents before them to praise children – and maybe overpraise them.
“This can foster great expectations or perhaps even smugness about one’s chances of reaching the stars at work and in family life.
“Their narcissism could be a recipe for depression later when things don’t work out as well as they expected.”
Prof Twenge and her team compared the 1975 and 2006 results from an annual US survey called Monitoring the Future which polls high school students about their views on life.
They found that a third more 17 to 20-year-olds today believe they work harder than their parents did and will be better than them when it comes to being parents, spouses and work colleagues – earning them the nickname the Smug Generation.
Many teenagers appear to think that future success will be handed to them on a plate: They claim to do 20 per cent less school homework than their parents said they did in 1975, said the report.
Professor Twenge, who has written a book about young people today called Generation Me, said that modern culture appeared to be teaching the young to be over-confident.
She said: “A growing body of research shows that today’s young generation is highly individualistic and has very high expectations. It will be interesting to see if their expectations are met as they enter adult life and the workforce.”
Fellow researcher Keith Campbell of the University of Georgia, said: “Previous generations had more realistic ambitions. Today’s teenagers have been taught to shoot for the moon without being warned that many of them will not make it.”
That last sentence is the key. It’s not that you can’t tell your children to shoot for the moon, but you need to prepare them in case they don’t make it. When I did stand-up for years in Houston and then New York City, traveling the East Coast, I was always told to find a “real” job in case this stand-up thing didn’t work out. And it didn’t. But at least someone was letting me know that while I pursued my dreams, I may not make it. It wasn’t in a condescending “You’ll never make it!” reminder. But a reminder based on sheer facts.
I hope someone does the same thing for the next generation. I hope you are doing that for your kids.
{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }
Thanks for this great post. I am familiar with the work of Jean Twenge, but not this research. Yes, the problem for this generation y is that if/when they fall they won’t be able to get back up again. Parents do a disservice by not teaching kids how the world really works.
I found your blog on a google search for negative thinking, as I am the author of a new book for parents and professionals entitled, Freeing Your Child from Negative Thinking: Powerful, Practical Strategies to Build a Lifetime of Resilience, Flexibility and Happiness. The purpose of the book in large part is to give parents the language (that they themselves are lacking) to understand the mechanisms of trying, failing, persevering and succeeding. I devote an entire chapter to the theme of managing failure, losing, disappointment and jealousy. It’s never too late to learn! Parents are learning right along with their kids…
To read an excerpt, please go to http://www.freeingyourchild.com.
Here’s to more resilient kids (and parents too!)
I notice how often people who comment on blogs are promoting books they’ve just written. So I thought I’d mention somebody else’s book instead.
I liked your post very much. It reminds me of Carol Dweck’s book ‘Mindset’, which relates our development of a fixed mindset or a growth mindset, in part at least, to our upbringing and the strengths, weaknesses and traits that people attributed to us in childhood.
The characteristics of the fixed mindset include a belief that, ‘I’m good at these things and no good at these things, and nothing much is going to change that.’ The result is that life becomes a series of opportunities to show off what I know or to conceal what I don’t know. I will often resist change and shrink away from challenges in case I get shown up in the process or because I already know that I won’t be able to do what is being asked of me.
The characteristics of the growth mindset include a belief that, ‘I can learn from just about any situation. I may never be the world’s greatest tango dancer, but I can improve.’ The result is that life becomes a series of opportunities to grow and learn and I welcome challenges, problems and change for that reason.
It’s also especially lovely to hear an American speaking up for negativity. Could you stand for President, I think there’s an election soon?
Andrew,
Thank you for taking the time to comment on my blog. Thanks for your support for a presidential run, but I think the guy they just elected is far more qualified than I am. Besides, I know I would completely abuse my authority and be drunk with power.
Keep coming back as I blog about negative thinking all the time.
Tamar,
Thank you for taking time to comment on my blog. I’m glad to see you’re including topics like failure, losing and disappointment in your book. I feel negative thinking isn’t valued enough since most people only think of negative thinking in the extreme when some of our most basic instincts of survival and problem solving are based on traditionally “negative” thinking.
Good luck with your book!
If you run, I’ll vote for you!!!
The “CEO-boomers” from GM. Ford and Chrysler need to read your blog…they are a great example of…”Generation Smug”. Great Blog!
Thank you for writing about this topic. As a Millennial myself I find that too often people are unwilling to discuss this very important topic as my generation matures and begins to take more of a leadership role in America.
However, I must strenuously disagree with your assertion that we are Generation Smug. I have also read Professor Twenge’s research and while her ideas that this is a more confident generation, her assertion that we are doomed because of our high expectations are wrong. Quite simply, the internet and technology has fundamentally changed the number of people who can succeed, and with young talent crossing the globe to best opportunities those that prepare themselves will succeed.
With regards to your idea that we need more negative thinking because we cannot possibly accomplish our high ambitions I would point you to a piece in the Wall Street Journal called “The Next American Frontier” written on May 19th, 2008. The piece describes how my generation is actually becoming a generation of entrepreneaurs where for the first time in history more people under 35 are starting companies than over it. Additionally, many claim that this generation’s entitlement program is a result of casual parenting in America. This could not be further from the case, and another article in the Wall Street Journal titled “In India Parents Become Part of the Hiring Picture” testifies to the fact that the role of parent has changed from your day.
Finally, I think we can all agree that the old model of corporations is fundamentally broken, as evidenced by the current recession. All Gen Yers are asking for is a chance to present our model, which is much more efficient but also brutal if you cannot keep up. Check out this article to get this perspective:
http://www.americanchronicle.com/articles/82835
Good luck with your work
Sorry for the few typos in the above post I accidentally clicked submit before I had a chance to read over the material. Have a good night.
Brett,
Thank you for taking the time to comment on my blog. If you read the post again, I never said you cannot possibly accomplish high ambitions. I simply said that younger people need to be warned that they may not accomplish their ambitions. Many people struggle with depression when they think they will accomplish something and don’t.
I’ll refer you to this post back in September of 2007: http://thepowerofnegativeblogging.com/2007/09/04/not-so-great-expectations/
Learning to fail properly is all I am talking about. An individual can accomplish things they never imagined. But as a generation, not everyone succeeds at the dreams they have. And I am certainly not advocating you don’t try to live your dreams. I did. I am. Well, not the original dream, but a version of it I am very happy with. We need to prepare people, let them know that failure is not the end of the world.
And I accept the fact that many people under 35 are starting businesses. But, Gen Y didn’t invent small business ownership. Boomers and more specifically Gen X showed you don’t have to go the traditional route of working in a huge corporation, instead you can control your life and work. This attitude is the one you grew up with as children. That is more evidence that self-confidence is high. That’s great. But we have no data yet on how those business are doing. Is there business model truly better? It may be. Probably will be. But many of these businesses will fail. It’s just a fact that more than half of all businesses fail. Are you ready for that possibility? You can keep a positive attitude but some negative thinking will not only help your business succeed, it will also help you cope if it doesn’t.
Efficiency is a good thing. Too much efficiency doesn’t allow for errors. If one problem happens, things spiral out of control.
I have no doubts about the capabilities of the new generation. They are going to solve a lot of problems, probably create some as well.
It’s their personality/attitude that I wonder about.
Keep commenting and keep reading!